Centred
My intention for this cycle has been to feel centred. And although I set out with this intention thinking that it would be all about grounding – which there still have been moments of, sprinkled amongst the chaos – it has felt more like I’ve become centred with my highest self. Don’t get me wrong, I have still been actually meditating with my bare feet on the grass and paying attention to the texture of a tree’s bark under my fingers, but intending to feel centred opened up an entirely new meaning to me.
I’ve stepped into alignment with my intuition and have felt more in my own self than ever before. I’ve been out here setting boundaries, standing my ground, speaking up and being bold. I’ve been dedicating time to my purpose; I’ve become so clear on who the fuck I am and have centred – no – anchored myself there. I am centred, in exactly who I want to be.
Putting myself out there
It started off on with the ultimate act of moving on. You know exactly what I’m talking about. And that act alone pulled me back out into the world of fun, of being single and enjoying life. It was an act of freedom, of doing exactly what I wanted. My confidence was boosted, I felt emboldened, unstoppable.
I’m not going to pretend it was all upward from here. As with every night out, the beer fear sets in. As with every roaring high, there has to be a comedown. With enough time for the buzz to wear off, reality came knocking and every blurry night out seemed to throw back question marks.
This propelled me into practicing thought work. Our thoughts shape our feelings, which can shape our moods and our daily actions. And with thought work this is something that we can actually steer. And although I was boosted and emboldened, this was a new territory and a new part of myself that I was quite literally exposing. So, I had to get really fucking clear on who I was and what I wanted – what I needed – from these interactions so that I could set boundaries on how to navigate this new world.
I idolise characters like Samantha from Sex and the City and cannot think of a better way to live my newly single life. However, I am a Cancer. I am sensitive and I am such a fucking empath that it tends to get me into trouble. This is where getting in touch with my intuition was powerful for me. I constantly asked myself what was good for my nervous system and what just gave me a bad feeling. Aligning with that, noticing that, is what helped me to understand what I wanted.
Magic or mindset?
I’ve written another article about the power of rituals. I’m not sure if it’s magic or mindset, but if it works every time, who cares?
And every time I felt stuck in a negative energy, every time I felt something that needed to shift and was not soothing my nervous system, out came the sage stick and so began the chanting. I’m not entirely sure what my neighbours must think of me and my sage-smoked apartment.
BUT the fact that we can turn our anxious and nervous feelings into feelings of power, into a sense of attracting exactly what we want – that's nothing short of magic, right?
How I failed
As I said, it wasn’t all rainbows and there were ways in which I failed to centre myself. I ignored my intuition on multiple occasions, I even stated to myself and my friends what I needed to do for my own wellbeing and then quite literally did the opposite. And then I gave myself shit for it [look, I am only human]. But each time it gave me an opportunity to re-centre myself. To notice the ways in which I was not centred and what I needed to get myself back there. [This is where the magic of thought work and rituals came in.]
How I centred myself
I prioritised my purpose this cycle. I dedicated time to write at the beginning of every day and it’s now a newly formed habit. I can’t quite believe how much it energises me and how replenished my soul feels after just twenty minutes of writing creatively. I joined a 24-hour writing sprint with London Writer’s Salon and felt like I was high. It just reinforced that this is exactly what I am meant for.
Getting quiet and asking my intuition what she needs [yes, I quite literally talk to myself] was the simplest way to recentre and align with my self. I became utterly devoted to taking exquisite care of me. And that came in the form of girl talks, reading, writing, writing, writing, lighting candles and having an early bedtime, having those wild nights out and embracing the unknown, sweating at the gym and laughing with my loved ones.
Spontaneity has been the dark horse and the underlying tone to this cycle. It has been something I’ve wanted to lean into for so long but have never been able to let myself. I’ve always referred to myself as a bit of a control freak. But somehow the days when I just surrendered to what might happen were the days when I felt so fucking free and so utterly centred in myself. Those are the days when the best memories have been created. Those are the days when I fully submerge in my own power. Because when I am centred, I know who I am. And is there anything more powerful than that?
